Stolen Away
by RobinRocks
Summary: LxLight Reversed AU. L may be the world’s greatest thief, but Detective Light Yagami is on to him. Pity L is so good at stealing things – including Light himself. COMPLETE.
1. Stolen Away: I

Here's the thing: It's a great device of fictional detectives and crimefighters and such to employ to idea of "To catch a criminal you must think like a criminal".

Seems logical enough. But honestly, surely that means that all these great detectives and caped crusaders (har har) would probably make pretty damned good criminals themselves, since they're armed with the know-how of both parties – how to commit a crime and how to (not) get caught.

…Hence it seems fair to say that L, the greatest of all detectives (in the _DN_-verse, at any rate) would probably be capable of being the greatest of all criminals (though his heirs, the lovely Near and Mello, certainly give him a run for his money, and I mean in the _canon_ universe here… O.o). The point is, had Light never picked up that Death Note, he'd have almost certainly been a great detective himself – and had L decided it was more fun to piss people off than to help them, he could have been a great criminal.

Reverse AUs of this nature have already been done, I believe (although usually L is some kind of serial murderer, if not Kira). Well, serial-killer-L has already been done – he's called Beyond Birthday. :D So I thought it would be fun to make him a master thief instead.

Who knows? Perhaps 'L' stands for 'Lupin III'…? :)

Stolen Away

He didn't know what had hit him.

Literally.

Detective Light Yagami – youngest member of the NPA to ever hold the rank of 'detective', incidentally – lifted his head as he broke the surface of consciousness; the back of his skull ached a little and his vision still hadn't cleared up entirely, but he was alert enough to realise he was sitting down, hands resting on the arms of the chair he found himself in.

…In? "Chained to" was a more accurate description. Realising that he was actually _attached_ to the chair, he started to struggle with the handcuffs on each of his wrists – seemed like they were attached to the same length of chain, long, maybe six feet, looped under the seat and around each of the arms before being snapped securely onto him to imprison him.

"Oh, you're awake."

Light froze at the sound of the voice – low, pleasant, definitely male, and near him. He couldn't say he recognised it, but he had a fairly good idea who it belonged to.

He raised his head, his cinnamon eyes meeting with the ebony ones of the man standing a few feet before him, looking at him curiously. Light glared directly at him for a long moment before dropping his gaze to look over the guy – his kidnapper, presumably – properly.

What a striking contrast to Light himself, in his sharply-cut dark blue suit, crisp white shirt and striped tie. This guy had wild black hair, tired pale skin, loose casual clothes; maybe he was quite tall, Light couldn't really tell since he wasn't standing up straight, and he didn't seem very old – mid-twenties, perhaps. _Freaky_, was the best one-word sum-up Light could think of. He was glad he wasn't standing any closer to him.

The man smiled at him, tilting his head.

"Wait there," he said, and he padded away in bare feet.

Light ignored him, looking around. The room they were in was quite a large one, with a desk at one end and lots of bookstands all around the walls, packed with volumes of every size and colour. The carpet was a deep red and there was a large, glimmering chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

The man came back with a chair, which he placed in front of Light and then stepped up into, perching in it in a peculiar position to observe his captive.

"And you would be…?" Light said finally, his tone scathing (although he knew who this man was – not because he'd ever seen him before, but because there was only one person he _could_ be).

"Why, Light-kun," the man responded, sounding quite offended, "I am L."

"That's what I thought."

"Then why did you not say?"

"I'm not obligated to answer any questions from you, you thieving bastard!" Light snapped, leaning forwards as much as his bindings would allow. "_And_," he went on before L could say anything, "how do you know my name?"

His expression very straight, L reached into the pocket of his jeans and extracted Light's wallet, flipping it open to show off his NPA license.

"Let's see," L said, looking up at the ceiling and not at the license itself, "Light Yagami, male, born February 28th 1986, holder of the rank of Detective in the Tokyo branch of the NPA, specifically the Department of Criminal Intelligence and Investigation, since October 2006."

"Give… give me my wallet!" Light seethed; at which L snapped it shut and threw it neatly into his lap.

"It's alright, everything is in there," he said blandly. "Petty theft, such as that of money and credit cards, does not interest me."

Light glowered at him, flexing his chained hands.

"Think you're pretty smart, don't you?" he bit out.

"I like to think so."

"Arrogant bastard."

L simply smiled cheerfully at him.

"Actually," he said, "I knew your name before I took your wallet, Light-kun."

"Oh, you have magic eyes now, do you?" Light spat.

"Oh, no, nothing like that. It's just that you have been assigned to the task of catching me for some time now, is that not correct? …When I ever actually show up in Japan, I mean. I do tend to move around quite a bit, as you've no doubt realised."

"Of course I have. Every time you steal something, it's always in the papers the next day."

"I know. How curious."

"It's not _curious_!" Light snapped. "It's because you always send in a message to the police – _live_, if you don't mind – via a computer hacking device; you know, that white screen with the 'L' on it, and you speak through it with that garbled voice, and you always tell the police exactly what you're going to steal and where and when you're going to do it, and then no matter how much security there is, no matter where it is in the world, no matter what it _is_, you _still_ manage to steal the blasted thing!"

"But that's how I work, Light-kun. It's more fun that way." L shook his head. "But we're straying away from our original topic."

"Which was…?"

"_You_."

Light's eyes narrowed.

"What _about_ me?"

"Well, I noticed that you were always a part of the security and investigative teams every time I stole something in Japan. I was intrigued by you, _so_… I did a little bit of research on you."

Light rolled his eyes.

"Jeez, what are you, some kind of creepy stalker too?" he sighed. "So why the hell have you kidnapped me?"

"_Kidnapped_?" L repeated the word in surprise. "Oh, no, _no_, Light-kun. I haven't _kidnapped_ you – I've _stolen_ you."

Light blinked at him in disbelief.

"It's the same bloody thing!" he said irritably.

"No it isn't," L insisted. "I don't kidnap people and demand ransoms. I just like to steal pretty things. You are the first person I have ever stolen."

Light started at him in silence.

"You're completely _demented_," he said finally, shaking his head. He tugged at his chains. "Come on, even _you_ aren't going to get away with this, L. Call it what you like, this is still kidnap, and the penalty for it is a great deal more serious than it is for theft. _Numerous counts_ of theft."

L snorted.

"I think Light-kun should be more grateful," he replied complacently. "Only things of great beauty are considered for my collection. Light-kun should be highly honoured that I have deemed him worthy to be a part of it. That, and… well, Light-kun is also the first new person to actually see me in a very, _very_ long time."

"Wow, lucky me," Light said sarcastically, looking at L with immense dislike. Jeez, did the spidery, sun-starved freak actually believe that Light should consider himself _honoured_ to be in the presence of both his collection of stolen valuables from the world over and the "great" thief himself?

"I am very offended," L huffed. "Perhaps Light-kun should not be in my collection after all, even if his beauty _does_ rival that of the treasures of Ancient Egypt and China."

"Offended or not, you and your collection of "treasures from Ancient Egypt and China" are coming with me down to the NPA Head Office," Light hissed, ignoring the "beauty" part. "You've finally slipped up, L. You're under arrest for well over seven hundred counts of both breaking-and-entering and theft all over the world."

L smiled, stepping down out of his seat and leaning over Light.

"Is that right?" he said with a smirk.

"Yes, it is."

L tapped the handcuff at Light's right wrist in mock-absence.

"Light-kun, you are not going anywhere at the moment," he said, almost apologetically, "and neither am I, nor my collection. So there."

"You can't keep me here forever!" Light said, getting more desperate. "Don't be an idiot, L – you _know_ you can't!"

"And _you_ can't arrest me," L replied pleasantly. "You are the only person who has ever seen "the world's greatest thief, L". There have never been any witnesses to any of my crimes, I have left behind no evidence and I have always taken care to remove any CCTV camera footage of my work. Put simply, Light-kun – you _cannot_ _prove_ that I am L."

"Then I'll just call for back up so there _will_ be witnesses, you smug—"

"Ah, and how are you going to do that?" L asked sweetly, taking Light's phone from his other pocket and holding it up, dangling it between two fingers.

Light simmered, then wrenched at his handcuffs again.

"Let me _go_!" he cried in frustration. "You _can't_ keep me here, L!"

"…_Well_," L said, seeming to consider this for a very long time, "perhaps if Light-kun behaves nicely and, more importantly, indulges me for a little while… _perhaps_ then I shall let him go."

Light frowned.

"…And what exactly do you mean by "indulge" you?" he asked carefully.

"Simply grace me with your company for a short while, Light-kun – that's all I ask. I get lonely sometimes, and you seem as though you have much in common with me."

"What, your stolen solid gold statues aren't very talkative?" Light mocked.

"How dry you are." L walked his fingers along part of the chain binding Light to the chair. "…_If_ I was to allow Light-kun out of this chair, would he be nice and not attack me? I'm not particularly fond of physical fighting, you know."

"I guess I don't really have much of a choice, do I?"

"Well, if you won't be civil, then I shall leave you here."

"That's what I meant."

"Then make a decision. An _honest_ one."

"Says the thieving scum."

"Oh dear, Light-kun is already being unkind and I have not even unlocked the handcuffs…"

"Alright, _alright_…!" Light gave a defeated sigh. "Let me go. I'll be… nice."

"Very well." L went into his seemingly-endless pocket and took out the key to the handcuffs, carefully unlocking first Light's right wrist, and then his left, slipping it back into his jeans as Light got up, flexing his hands. "Now remember your promise, Light-kun."

Light turned his head toward shim, chocolate eyes glinting.

"I didn't _promise_ you anything," he hissed, swinging his fist with considerable force straight at L's white face.

It met nothing. L had effortlessly stepped aside, ducking behind Light.

"Light-kun does not learn quickly, it would seem," he observed flatly; and then Light felt something slam him in the back of the skull, bringing black shutters down on his vision—

L had knocked him out. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out for, but when his eyes opened again, he was sprawled on a plush sofa in a different room to the one in which they'd been before.

"As I said," L told him from the armchair he was curled in, sipping from the teacup held daintily in his thin fingers, "you do not learn very fast."

"What's that… supposed to mean?" Light snapped irritably, sitting up and rubbing at the back of his head.

"I have done that to you twice tonight."

"So that's how you got me here in the first place."

"That is correct. You were even easier to steal than the Earth's Eye." L pointed at the glass table in front of the sofa Light was sitting on – arranged upon its crystalline surface was the magnificent ornament of platinum and jade, bedecked with gleaming emeralds and finely-cut orbs of aquamarine, L had clearly stated he would be stealing from the museum only that evening.

It had taken Tokyo five years to arrange negotiations to have the Earth's Eye on loan from a museum in Shanghai, China.

It had taken L five minutes to steal both it and the NPA detective in charge of preventing exactly that.

"What did you _hit_ me with?" Light asked, still rubbing at his head.

L held up the palm of his right hand.

"If you know exactly where to hit," he said, "you do not need a heavy weapon."

"Right. And I thought you said you weren't very fond of physical combat."

"But I never said I wasn't any good at it."

Light folded his arms irritably, having no answer to that.

"Would you like some tea, Light-kun?" L asked, putting his own cup and saucer down to pour Light some anyway.

"No thankyou," Light answered stiffly.

"I do not poison my guests, Light-kun," L said delicately, pushing the tiny teacup towards Light in a rather assertive manner.

"Do you even _have_ guests?" Light asked scathingly. "Other than ones you… ah, _steal_, of course."

L smiled, retrieving his own teacup.

"Well, no, admittedly not. It's a shame – I have no-one with which to share my collection." He gestured first to the Earth's Eye sitting within arm's reach in front of the detective, then vaguely around the walls.

Light followed the direction of his hand – stunned into silence by the décor of the room. Every wall was covered in paintings, many of which Light recognised from newspaper photographs accompanying reports that they'd been stolen, and various ornaments crafted of precious metals and rare jewels and stones, from all different countries and time periods – Rome, Egypt, Greece, Japan, China, Russia, England, Persia, India, France, Germany, Spain… Light was excellent at Maths, but even _he_ couldn't begin to comprehend the amount of money there was in this room alone…

"What the hell would you do if there was a house fire?" Light asked, the question rhetorical as he finally picked up his own teacup to take a drink.

L smiled and shrugged.

"I've often thought of setting the place alight myself, actually," he said conversationally over his own cup.

Light raised an eyebrow.

"Now why would you do that?"

"It's only a thought I sometimes have. It is highly unlikely that I would ever do it."

"If you don't like all these things you seem so obsessed with stealing then give them back."

"Now why would I do _that_?"

"So other people can enjoy them, too."

"Enjoy them? You mean so that they can be a museum where tourists can take pictures of them whilst not understanding anything about their history or craftsmanship?"

"What a very sweeping statement, L."

"Perhaps. Well, I enjoy them, and I went to a lot of trouble to steal some of them, so I'm not giving them back."

"That's very selfish."

"Well, I am a very selfish person, so that's alright."

Light sipped at his head, shaking his head.

"You're… not what I expected," he said finally. "What I expected L to be like, I mean."

"Oh?" L added some more sugar cubs to his own tea. "And what did you expect?"

"I don't know. Someone… older than you, definitely. Dressed a bit smarter, too. And your personality… you're odd, you know that?"

"I have been told."

"…You're so polite, and… _honest_, but you steal things just for the hell of it, and you're seriously arrogant about it, and… well, you're just _weird_."

"I suppose I can't argue with that. …I do think Light-kun is very beautiful, however."

"Don't say things like that, you freak." Light didn't look at him as he said it.

"But it's the truth. I would not have stolen you for my collection otherwise."

"I've already told you, you _can't_ keep me here. You're just being stupid. Besides, you said you'd let me go."

"I said I would let you go if you were nice. You weren't. You tried to punch me. That wasn't very nice at all."

"What would _you_ have done?!" Light blazed.

"…Probably the same thing, admittedly."

"There you are, then."

L sipped at his sweetened tea, smiling at Light happily.

"Still, this is fun. I find Light-kun's company very enjoyable."

"That's ridiculous. You don't even know me."

"But I like you."

Light snorted and said nothing more, distractedly drinking his tea.

The door opened, and another, older man came into the room – glasses, grey hair, black suit – carrying a tray, on which were arranged several varieties of perfectly-presented cake. He crossed the room and put the tray down on the table, next to the Earth's Eye.

"Thankyou, Watari," L said, smiling at him.

Watari said nothing, though gave a rather cryptic smile of his own as he sailed silently out of the room again.

"Jeez, you stole a _butler_, too?" Light asked incredulously as L leaned over the tray with interest.

"Watari is not my butler," L corrected mildly, finally selecting a slice of strawberry shortcake. "He's my partner in crime, shall we say?"

"I thought you said you didn't have anyone to share your collection with?"

"I don't. Watari shows little interest in historical artefacts. He is rather fond of art, although our tastes have almost nothing in common. I have stolen a great many pieces for him, however." L pushed a slice of carrot cake on a little silver tray across towards Light. "Here, try this, Light-kun. It's very good."

"_Watari_…" Ignoring the cake, Light repeated the name a few times. "…I'm sure I've heard that name before."

"I should think so," L said, nibbling at a forkful of cake. "He's a very prestigious art dealer."

"_Stolen_ art dealer, you mean…?"

"Naturally."

Light was actually very irritated by this flippant manner, spearing the carrot cake moodily with his fork.

"Why are you telling me all this stuff?" he asked grouchily.

"Because you can't arrest me. And it's nice to have someone to talk to. Watari is a very great and trusted friend of mine, but not a particularly wonderful conversationalist, as you may have observed. You are a much more satisfactory correspondent, Light-kun."

"…I really _can't_ arrest you, can I?" Light sighed after a long moment.

"No, you can't," L said pleasantly, apparently enjoying his cake very much. "Maybe someday, Light-kun, but not today."

Light resigned to eating forkful of cake in order to appear as though he was not at a complete loss of what to do.

"It's good cake, isn't it?"

"…_Yeah_." Light actually gave a weak smile. "It's good cake."

"You like it?"

"Yes."

"Good." L looked up at him and smiled. "I'm glad."

* * *

"Is it necessary for you to do this?" Light asked irritably, resisting the urge to smack L away.

"Blindfold you? Of course. I have decided that we are friends now, Light-kun, but that does not mean that I can trust you."

"Then why should I trust you?"

"You don't, surely."

"No, I don't."

"There we are then." L finished tying the cloth around Light's eyes as the car got moving. "As it stands, I have premises in eight countries around the world – England, the United States, France, Germany, Russia, China and Australia in addition to here in Japan – and so even if you were to somehow lead your fellow detectives all the way to the place we just were, you would be highly unlikely to actually catch me. Regardless… I am not a fan of uninvited guests, even when I am not in, so I would prefer it if you were not able to see the route which we will be taking to our destination."

"You think of everything."

"Don't I?" L sounded very pleased with himself.

He said nothing more, and Light didn't either, leaning back against the upholstery of the back seat of the car, listening to the hum of the powerful engine. He hadn't been expecting this kind of treatment, to be honest – he thought that by "letting him go", L would simply open the door and chuck him out, leaving him to find his own way back to the precinct building. Instead he was getting a ride back from Watari the Non-Butler in the fancy black Jaguar – albeit blindfolded.

He'd almost fallen asleep when he felt the car finally slow up; L prodded at him.

"Light-kun? We're here."

"Good." Light reached up to remove the blindfold, but L grabbed his wrist.

"No, not yet, Light-kun. Not until you're out of the car. Besides, I have something for you, but it's a surprise."

"Oh yeah? It's not another whack to the back of the head, is it?"

"No, nothing like that." L gave a little laugh. "My, how paranoid you are."

"Well, whose fault is that?!" Light demanded.

"Mine, I suppose. No, it's something good. But first… I want something from Light-kun."

"Like what?"

"Hmm, well… No, I suppose if I tell you, or ask you to give it to me, that won't be any fun. I guess I'll just have to _steal_ it, the way I do everything else…"

"Steal _wh_—?"

Light was cut off, partly from shock and partly because it was really quite _impossible_ to speak with someone else's mouth pressed against your own. The young detective didn't react to the kiss, too distracted by both his surprise at the sudden move on L's part and at the realisation that the master thief had pressed something into his hands.

L abruptly broke away from him, leaning across him and opening the car door.

"Goodbye, Light-kun," he said pleasantly, giving Light a small push that sent him stumbling out of the Jaguar and onto the pavement.

"Hey, wait…!" Light wrenched at the blindfold as he heard the car door close again; but only got it off in time to see the sleek black car disappear into a part of the street not lit by streetlamps.

He glanced about, noting that L and his partner in crime had dropped him off right in front of the NPA Head Office. Smug bastard… Still, less walking for him. He glanced down at the thing in his hands – something wrapped carefully in several layers of paper. Puzzled, he tugged at the sheets, pulling them loose to see what was inside the package.

The carefully-sculpted platinum and jade gleamed up at him under the light of the streetlamp he was standing beside.

The Earth's Eye.

He stared down at it, stunned. Had L given it back because… because he didn't want Light to get into trouble? That was the only reason Light could think of. He paused for a moment longer, then carefully unwrapped the glimmering piece and threw the sheets of paper into a bin on the pavement as he went to the double doors of the NPA precinct building. He wasn't sure if anyone from his department would even be here – the clock in the foyer read 4:09am.

Still, he could use the phone in the Criminal Intelligence and Investigation Dept. office to call the Tokyo museum and inform them that he had the Earth's Eye, unharmed and all in one piece.

He was wrong – on stepping into the office, he was immediately descended upon by every single other member of his department, who were all standing around, drinking coffee, smoking, and generally looking harassed and exhausted.

"Light!" Matsuda cried, grabbing the younger man by his tie. "Where the heck have you been? We've all been worried sick!"

"Thought you'd gotten hurt," Aizawa put in. "Or that that L bastard had gotten you. Killed you or kidnapped you or something."

"Aizawa, don't say things like that," Chief Soichiro Yagami snapped, appearing immensely relieved to see his son.

"It's okay," Light assured them. "I'm fine."

"Hey, oh my god!" Matsuda said excitedly, elbowing Mogi out of the way to get closer still to Light. "Is that that Eye thingy we were supposed to protect?"

"Huh? Oh, this…?" Light held the Earth's Eye up. "I guess so."

"Oh, you little genius!" Matsuda exalted, throwing his arms around Light. "You've saved all our assess! That Chinese museum it was borrowed from is _so_ pissed right now…"

"Matsuda, get off!" Aizawa bit out, dragging Matsuda away from Light. "You're going to crush the damned thing."

"Light…" Chief Yagami adjusted his glasses to look at the piece properly. "How did you get this? By the time we got to the scene, both you and the Eye were gone."

"Hey, did you chase L?" Matsuda demanded. "Did you _see_ him? What does he look like? Is he even a he? Is he maybe a really hot girl instead?"

"I… No, I didn't see him," Light said after a moment's hesitation.

"Then how did you get the Earth's Eye?" Aizawa asked suspiciously.

"L knocked me out. When I came round, the Eye was gone, but I hadn't been out for very long, so I went looking for L. It took me a while, but eventually I just came across the Eye, all by itself. I never saw L himself."

"What, you mean he just left it?" Mogi asked blandly.

"He must have done." Light shrugged. "Maybe he couldn't carry it. He could have hurt himself or something."

"Well, I'm glad that _you're_ alright, Light," Chief Yagami said, patting his son on the shoulder. "And we have the Eye back, too." He glanced at both Aizawa and Mogi. "You two, take the Earth's Eye down to Forensics immediately. There might be some DNA trace of L left on it that we can use to track him down."

"Will do, chief," Aizawa said as Mogi carefully took the piece from Light.

"Matsuda," Chief Yagami went on as Aizawa and Mogi left the room, "you stay here with Light. I'm going to go and call the museum and inform them that the NPA has retrieved the Eye safely." He glanced at Light. "Light, you just sit down for a moment. And well done. I'm proud of you."

"…Thanks, dad."

The elder Yagami gave a nod and left the room too; leaving Light to sink onto the edge of the desk.

"So you really didn't see L?" Matsuda asked, sounding disappointed.

"Sorry, Matsuda."

"Huh. Well, it's not your fault, I guess." Matsuda looked up at the ceiling tiles of the office. "…I wonder what L really looks like, though. No-one's ever seen him, right?"

Light offered him a forced smile.

"I'll bet he's a freak," he said flatly.

"Heh, probably." Matsuda grinned. "Shall I make you a cup of coffee, Light?"

"That would be great, Matsuda."

Light gave a sigh as Matsuda ambled away across the room to make some coffee, putting his hands into the pockets of his jacket; he felt very guilty for lying, but he had felt as though he'd owed L for giving the Earth's Eye back so that he wouldn't get into trouble, and besides, the smug little son-of-a-bitch was right:

Light couldn't prove that he was L.

He blinked, his fingers closing around something in his pocket that he was sure he hadn't put there himself. He pulled it out after checking his shoulder to ensure that Matsuda wasn't watching him.

Two pieces of paper clipped neatly together. The top sheet was a small handwritten note and the second appeared to be a newspaper cutting.

Light focused on the note first:

_Thankyou for your company tonight, Light. I enjoyed it very much. You are a very interesting person. Let's do this again sometime soon._

_L _

_P.S: I apologise for stealing you. I hope you didn't mind too much._

Light didn't know whether to be pissed off or amused by this. L must have slipped it into his pocket at some point without him feeling it.

_Let's do this again sometime soon…_

Light looked at the second sheet – it was a clipping from a French newspaper. Light couldn't read it, but he could see the picture clearly enough.

A bejewelled crown, incidentally.

"So where do you think L will strike next?" Matsuda asked, crossing the room with Light's cup of coffee.

"No idea," Light said, slipping the sheets back into his pocket and taking the cup. "No clue at all, Matsuda."

Matsuda gave a shrug as Light sipped at his coffee.

"Oh, well, at least he's not some crazy mass murderer or anything." The older man leaned up against the desk, folding his arms. "Bet he'd make a pretty good detective himself, though."

Light smiled.

"Yeah, I bet he would."

* * *

"_Why do you steal things, anyway? I mean, really. It can't just be because you want all these useless ornaments, as much as you claim to like and appreciate them."_

"…_Boredom, I suppose, Light-kun."_

"_You're bored?"_

"_Sometimes."_

"_I know the feeling."_

"_You get bored too?"_

"_Sometimes."_

"_Look how much in common we have. We'll be very good friends, I think."_

"_Oh yeah?"_

"_Yes. We should meet up again."_

"_Sounds good. You on one side of the prison bars, me on the other."_

"_I don't think so. Tell me, do you speak French?"_

"_Why?"_

"_No reason. I haven't quite decided yet, anyway… But we're both bored. We have much in common. We should meet up again. It would be fun, I think."_

"_Says you."_

"_Well, even if you say no, I'll just steal you away again, Light-kun. So there."_

_(But maybe he already had.)_

* * *

Mwa ha ha. Well, that was fun – although I think Phantom-Thief!Light might be fun, too. You know, a proper one with a cape and top hat and stuff. :) He could be Tuxedo Kira – and L could be Sailor Justice.

Oh dear… O.o

This ended up longer than I had intended (although I still wrote it fairly quickly). Go figure.

And even as a good guy, Light is easily corruptible (this time by a cake-murdering thief as opposed to an apple-murdering death god). He was never destined to live the good life, that boy…

RR xXx


	2. Stolen Away: II

Well, this may (or may not) prove to be a huge mistake, but I got loads of reviews for the original fic _Stolen Away_ asking for a sequel/continuation, and since the storyline isn't yet completely redundant, I decided to bend to your collective will. If you _didn't_ want a sequel, you should have said "Oh god, _please_ don't write any more…". Ha ha…

So, yes. This fic probably won't be very long. Maybe about three chapters…?

Also, a lot of people asked if I liked/read _DNAngel_, _Thief and Detective_ and _Gorgeous Carat_. No to both _DNAngel_ and _Thief and Detective_ (as much as that may surprise you) but yes to _Gorgeous Carat_. Though I have to say that I didn't really have either _Gorgeous Carat_ or something like _Saint Tail_ in mind when I wrote the original fic – L's character was really based more on the original World's Greatest Thief, Lupin III.

And so, to France! Yayz!

Stolen Away – II

Detective Light Yagami's French was, at best, passable.

Mogi, incidentally, was very good at it; in retrospect, it probably would have been useful to have had Mogi with him. Maybe it was his (slight) control-freak nature, but Light didn't like not knowing what was going on around him down to the tiniest detail – and that was exactly position in which he now found himself, with people bustling to and fro, speaking French that he could pick out words from but struggled to follow.

Light hadn't told anybody else in the Department of Criminal Intelligence and Investigation that he was going to France; calling his father from his hotel after arriving in Europe to say that he'd left Japan for a few days to follow a lead on L.

Which wasn't a lie.

Of course, he'd neglected to mention where he'd gotten the lead from; and also didn't give a satisfactory answer when his father asked why he'd gone alone.

Well… Light wasn't entirely sure of the answer to that himself. Somehow, since L himself had given him this clue to begin with, it seemed kind of… personal. Additionally Light got the impression that L had been counting on him coming alone to France. Not _hoping_ that he'd come alone – _knowing_ that he would.

So Light had played right into his hands. He'd known that to begin with. Booking his place ticket had been booking a ticket right into L's little trap for him.

Still, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. L's confidence could certainly be his downfall – and though it had perhaps been idiotic of Light to not bring the rest of his department along for the rendezvous with the master thief, he was pretty certain that he, if he played all his cards right, could catch L here in France and return to Japan victorious in having had the tricky bastard carted off to some French maximum security prison.

Light felt a smirk pull at his mouth even as he sat there; in a blue plush chair in the hallway outside the director of the Police Nationale's office. He'd already battled his way through various spliced French conversations with a few lower down personnel, flashing his Japanese NPA detective's crest, saying that he had a lead on L; at which they'd flapped and panicked, snatching the French newspaper cutting from him. Eventually a commissioner had taken him upstairs and told him to wait out here while he went in to speak with the director.

Now, a good ten minutes later, the door opened and the same commissioner looked out at the young detective.

"If you'd like to come in, Detective Yagami, the director will see you," he said; Light didn't catch all of what he said, but got the gist of it and rose with a grateful smile, passing the commissioner and entering the room.

The office was small, cluttered with files and piles of papers, with straight yellowed blinds at the tiny window. The director, a small but thick-set man in a dark grey suit, with silvery hair and a thin, carefully-clipped moustache, sat behind a desk on which the coffee-maker and the glass ashtray had pride of place. He greeted Light in smoky French as the commissioner closed the door behind them, and gestured with his cigar-holding hand to the seat before his desk. Light sank into it, and although the director watched him carefully, he said nothing for a long moment.

"Do you speak English?" he asked at length, cigar pressed back to his lips.

"Yes," Light replied with a nod, the language coming to him far more easily than French.

"Very well, we'll continue in English, then," the director decided. "Commissioner Cordeux informs me that your French is good enough, but not quite perfect. You'll forgive me, but I speak no Japanese – and since this a matter of high importance, we must be sure that no details become lost in translation."

Light nodded again in agreement.

"Pardon my imprudence, but if I might see your badge and license before we begin?" the director went on.

"Of course." Light fished out his wallet and handed it across the desk; the director examined it briefly before giving it back, seemingly satisfied.

"So, you have reason to believe that the great thief L will soon come to steal the famed _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ from the Musée de l'Histoire de France?"

"That's right. L last struck in Japan, stealing the Earth's Eye, which was on loan from a museum in Shanghai."

"Was that particular artefact not retrieved?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Non, non, I see your point." The director inhaled deeply in his cigar, apparently oblivious to the fact that he had partially-reverted to his native tongue. "There is no reason why he should not strike again despite his failure in his last theft."

"He _is_ going to strike again," Light insisted. "He's going to steal that crown."

"And you know this due to a newspaper clipping from a French newspaper, detailing the crown's exhibition, having been sent, presumably by L himself, to the NPA headquarters in Tokyo?"

"That's right."

The director here took out an identical newspaper clipping from his desk drawer, pushing it across the desk to Light.

"How would you feel, detective, if I was to tell you that we received this same clipping only two days ago?"

Light blinked, looking up at him.

"You… did?"

The director nodded gravely.

"We have had task squads present around the crown for the past two nights, but L has made no move yet. Still, I wonder why he took the trouble to inform the Japanese police. I do not mean to appear rude, but the theft of a French crown from a French museum has little to do with the NPA."

Light nodded absently; hiding his inward mounting annoyance at L for playing him like this beneath a mask of calm conjecture. Damn it, why did he feel so… _cheated_?

If he ever ran across L again, he was going to hit him with something. Something heavy. And blunt. And very, very damaging. And more than once.

"So, though I do not mean to insult your generous intentions, I believe this has been a waste of your time, detective," the director said, arresting his attention once more.

"Looks like it," Light muttered blackly.

"Ah, but it would be rude of us to simply send you home, non? And after you came all this way to help us." Inhaling happily on his cigar, the director leaned across the desk towards the young Japanese detective. "The squad will be at the museum again tonight to guard the crown. I can arrange for you to join them, if it would please you."

Light gave a wearied, though grateful, nod.

"Yes, thankyou. I'd like that very much."

"Very well – I shall simply need to fill out a warrant for you." The director began rummaging in his desk drawer in search of the appropriate papers. "I have heard," he went on, finding them and laying them out before him, taking up a biro, "that L is… what is the word? Elusive?"

"You mean… that nobody has ever seen him?" Light asked carefully.

"Oui, oui, that is what I have heard," the director agreed, busying himself with the warrant. "Never seen him, never met him, nothing at all. Is that true?"

Light faltered; but recovered himself before the French police director looked up at him again.

"Yes," he replied expressionlessly. "That's true."

* * *

The _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ glimmered beneath the spotlight of its glass case, the centrepiece of a small room crammed with various other display cases, filled with gleaming historical French jewels and precious metals wrought into necklaces, bracelets, rings, brooches, pins and tiaras.

It was something of a familiar sight – Light recognised it as being similar to the room in which he'd "taken tea" with L in his Japanese hidey-hole.

It was nearing 3:30am. Although thoroughly jetlagged, Light forced himself to stay awake, eyes burning as he absently twirled his gun deftly from one hand to the other. It was nearing 3:30am, and still nothing from L. Light pitied the other members of the French taskforce assigned to the protection of the crown, who'd done this to no avail or joy for two nights previous to this. It was a boring, tiring job, but somebody had to do it, and Light wanted to be that somebody.

No matter how jetlagged, exhausted and bored he was.

At 3:45am, the French detective in charge of the taskforce approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You seem very tired, my friend," he said in careful French. "No doubt travelling from Japan has wearied you. If you would prefer to return to your hotel—"

"No, no." Light offered the man a strained smile, replying in the best French he could manage. "Thankyou, but I'm fine. I came here to help catch L, and I'm not going to rest until we have him handcuffed in the backseat of a police car."

The detective laughed a little, clapping his shoulder in a comradely fashion.

"As you wish, detective. Perhaps you might like to take a few minutes to freshen up, however. We may very well be here until dawn."

Stifling a yawn at this point, Light found himself giving a nod of agreement.

"Yes, I think that might help." He rubbed at his forehead tiredly. "Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Knowing his luck, L would steal the crown in those few minutes, but, on the verge of collapsing, Light knew he had to go splash some cold water on his face before he keeled over. He left the small display room and went down the corridor to the men's staff bathroom; uttering a low, tired groan as he bent over one of the sinks and cupped his hands beneath the flowing cold tap, splashing it upwards into his face.

"So you _did_ come," he heard that smooth distinctive voice – in Japanese, so alien in France – say. "I'm flattered, Light-kun – or may I call you 'Dupin' for the time being?"

Light whirled; more indignant than surprised to find L standing right behind him, dressed in his usual unseemly white cotton and blue denim.

"No, you may _not_ call me 'Dupin'," Light spat; but his mouth twisted into a smirk even as he spoke. "You just made a very big mistake, L!"

L tilted his head curiously.

"Do you think so?"

"Absolutely." Grinning, Light pulled out his gun from its holster, aiming it right at the middle of L's slender chest. "Now, you're going to come along with me to see my very good friend Detective Expére just down the hall, and we'll have you tucked up nice and cosy in a high-security prison cell by morning. How does that sound?"

"Would you be offended if I said that that doesn't sound as though it would be something I would find particularly to my liking?"

"Not at all. Unfortunately, you don't have a choice in the matter."

L smiled at him.

"You're not going to shoot me, Light-kun."

Light gave a snort.

"I've shot better men than you, L. Now come on, get moving."

"_No_," L sighed, making a slow and deliberate show of burying his hands into his pockets. "I think I'll stay right here. Your company does so please me, after all, Light-kun."

Light arched an eyebrow in spite of himself.

"Oh? You wanted me to come all the way to France so that we could spend time together in some museum bathroom?"

L smirked dryly.

"While I was hoping we might instead catch up in one of the many lovely little cafés France has to offer, your phrasing, particularly your emphasis on our spending time together in a bathroom, makes my innocent pleasure in your company sound so much more erotic, Light-kun."

Light's smile snapped off.

"Shut up."

L blinked beguilingly at him.

"Did you not appreciate my stealing a kiss from you, then, Light-kun?"

"I told you to _shut up_!" Light hissed, feeling colour flush into his face as he stepped forwards, jabbing the gun at L, as though to remind him that he was still wielding it. "Get moving unless you want a bullet through your lower spine."

"Light-kun," L said patiently, still not budging, "you're _not_ going to shoot me."

"And what makes you so sure of that, you arrogant son of a bitch?" Light breathed lethally, closing right in on the other man, gun barrel pressed squarely into the centre of his chest.

"Because, if you _were_ going to shoot me, you'd need these." L extracted his right hand from his jeans pocket and opened his palm, letting a whole handful of bullets fall from his clenched fingers and hit the bathroom floor in a symphony of sharp metallic _clinks_.

Stunned, Light stared at the bullets as they rolled to their respective halts around his feet; and then, his anger welling again, pulled the trigger of his gun, the barrel against L's chest at a range beyond even point-blank.

The weapon simply gave a hollow click.

"Y-you…" Light could barely speak due to his fused shock and fury. "…H-how… how did you…?"

"There, there, Light-kun," L said with a consoling smile, laying a hand on Light's shoulder in a comforting fashion—

Too late Light realised that L had been finding the pressure point on his shoulder; before he could wrench himself away, the master thief had deftly jabbed his bony finger and thumb down into the nerves and Light's vision shuddered like a grainy film before blacking completely, his body slumping limply into L's waiting arms.

* * *

Light's shoulder ached when he awoke; he was aware of it even as he blinked away the last lingering drapes of a sleep deep and deliberate. He gave an irritated hiss, rubbing at the sore muscles, as he sat up.

He was on the bed of his French hotel room, fully-clothed right down to his shoes. His suitcase was still open at the foot of the bed, exactly where he'd left it. In fact, everything in the room was exactly as it should be—

Except for the fact that it now had L in it.

The pale man was over at the dresser, examining his reflection before the mirror; or, rather, examining the precise angle at which the _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ sat amongst the dishevelled spikes of his raven hair.

"Oh, Light-kun," L said absently, looking at him in the mirror. "You're finally awake."

"Yeah." Light tried to inject a sense of defiant anger into his voice, but found himself too tired to manage it. Instead he could only look at L hopelessly as the thief tilted the crown a little more to the right. "I see you got the crown, then."

L finally turned to him, crown gleaming and glittering.

"I certainly did. Isn't it lovely?"

"Stunning," Light replied flatly. His chocolate eyes narrowed. "So how did you do it?"

L blinked at him.

"Do what, Light-kun?"

"Oh, don't play dumb!" Light snapped. "Manage to kidnap me _and_ steal the crown, of course!"

"I didn't _kidnap_ you—"

"Yes, yes, you _stole_ me. Whatever you say, you nutjob."

But L shook his head.

"No, that's not true either." He gestured vaguely around the walls. "This is _your_ hotel room, Light-kun. I have returned you to it – therefore you are not truly in my possession, and so I have neither kidnapped nor stolen you."

Light glowered at him.

"Don't change the subject," he bit out. "How did you do it? You didn't have that crown when you met me in the bathroom, and the display room the crown was in was full of French police."

"Hm? Oh, well… if I _must_ let you in on my little secret, the truth is that I actually didn't steal the crown tonight."

"But… but you have…" Light floundered, pointing at the crown that was all-too-obvious in the way that L was flouncing about wearing it.

"Yes, I know." L finally removed the crown from his head, turning it about in his slender hands to admire every angle of it. "I actually stole it three nights ago."

"You _can't_ have!" Light burst out in frustration. "I _saw_ it in the museum! It was in a glass case!"

"No, what you saw in the museum was in fact only a replica of the crown."

"…That you made?"

"No, no. The French museum made it. It's actually a fairly common practice, to make replicas of particularly rare and valuable pieces and artefacts. They act, in a sense, as decoys – usually when they're being transported to loan to other museums."

"And how would you know that?" Light asked icily.

"Because _I_ have fallen for it," L admitted airily. "Last year the Musée de l'Histoire de France lent the crown to the Royal Victoria and Albert Museum in London – it was sent via the Eurotunnel that runs between England and France. I thought I'd stay one step ahead and steal the crown from the train. I found breaking into the vault in which the crown was supposedly kept very easy, and made a very clear getaway with it. Or, at least, what I _thought_ was the crown. Later inspection proved it to be a clever fake of gold-plated metal and coloured glass. But I kept the fake in my possession for use at a later date. There was no point in trying to steal it from the V&A, since the fact that the replica had been stolen made them heighten their security. I still could have stolen it, you understand, but it seemed like a lot of effort for such a trivial thing. I thought I'd wait until the crown returned to France, where I'd switch it with the replica they'd crafted so carefully in its image." L laughed a little now, partly at Light's incredulous expression. "So your little French detective friends have spent three sleepless nights guarding a _fake_."

Light gave a heavy sigh.

"Ever considered using those magical talents of yours for the forces of good?" he asked jadedly.

L smiled sweetly.

"Is Light-kun trying to imply that I am evil?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, don't sulk, Light-kun. It's not very becoming of you. You look so much prettier when you smile." L offered him the crown. "Would you like to try it on?"

"No thankyou," Light replied frostily. "Why do you have it here, anyway? Are you saying that you actually stopped off at your hideout just so you bring it here to my hotel room to show off how clever you are?"

"Yes and no." L put the crown down on the dresser and came to sit on the edge of the bed. "While I _do_ have a base in France, I am actually staying at this hotel too – I just brought the crown up from my room."

"…Since when are _you_ staying here?"

"Since three days ago. I knew you'd choose this hotel, if you came to France at all, because it's the closest to the Musée de l'Histoire de France."

"You really believed I'd come?"

"I hoped you would."

"Why's that?"

"We're friends, aren't we?" L leaned towards him as he said it.

Light smirked sickeningly.

"Sure."

"Friends because we share a common weariness of the banalities of everyday life?"

"You could say that."

"Friends because we have conversations more interesting than those about coffee, the weather and rising petrol prices?"

"I guess so."

"Friends because we're so alike?"

"Certainly." Light paused. "L, you're too close."

By this point L had moved right the way up the bed, closer with every question, until the final answer he received from Light had left him pinning the young detective against the headboard by his shoulders.

"Do you think so?" L asked after a moment's reflection.

"_Yes_."

L gave a little sigh, not moving; instead apparently sinking back into deep thought.

"I'm not going to ask you for a kiss, Light-kun," he said at length.

"Good."

"Because I don't _ask_ for things I want."

"So you're just going to kiss me?"

"Yes."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I did last time."

"That's because—"

Perhaps predictably, L interrupted him with the kiss that he, true to his word, hadn't asked for. He'd just hinted that he was going to do it. Very heavily.

So before he could get comfortable, Light bit him.

L made a noise that was something like a high-pitched grunt, certainly one of pain, and pulled away from Light abruptly; keeling back between the younger man's legs and touching his pale fingers to his bottom lip.

He blinked at the blood on them, as though surprised to see it there; then glanced up at Light, who was smirking in petty triumph.

"That was the security alarm," Light said.

"I see." L arched an eyebrow at him, half-amused. "Well, I suppose that approach _was_ a little ill-planned. Luckily for us both I always have a back-up plan."

"Is that right?"

"Of course." L lunged forwards towards him again; Light turned his head aside, but found that that only made the situation much worse for himself:

L had gone for his neck instead; sinking his teeth into the flesh of his throat, not quite breaking the skin, but the pain was sharp enough to make Light seize up beneath him. The young detective grabbed at L, twisted the fabric of his shirt in his hands, trying to gain some leverage to shove him off.

After a long moment, L removed himself on his own, leaning back to glance at Light's neck with an admiring, condescending smile.

"It looks lovely on you," he said at length, still smirking. "It will probably get a bit darker, but it's in such a good place – where everyone can see it."

His expression aghast, still staring right at L, Light clapped his hand to that tingling spot on his throat almost involuntarily.

"_You_…!" He could barely speak through his fury. "Get out!"

L gave a deep sigh, settling forward so that his upper half rested comfortably on Light's torso.

"Only _now_ you object so highly to my company?" he asked, blinking up at Light.

"I didn't invite you in here!" Light pushed at him. "And don't lie on me like that!"

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"_Yes_!"

L didn't budge.

"Does Light-kun ever concern himself about his sexuality, I wonder?" he mused, more to himself.

"Of course I don't."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm comfortable with it."

"Comfortable with what?" L asked, his eyes gleaming.

"Being _straight_, of course."

"Oh, of course. Does Light-kun have a girlfriend?"

"Not… not at the moment. I used to see this girl. She was a model. We broke up a few months ago."

"Why is that?"

"Is that any of your business?!" Light snapped.

"No, I suppose not." L wiped at his mouth, which had begun to bleed again.

"What about you?" Light asked after a long moment's hesitation.

"Hm?" L looked up at him. "What about me?"

"Do you… _wonder_?"

L shrugged.

"Sometimes. I can't say I've ever come to any kind of satisfactory conclusion, though."

"So… you're…?"

"Straight. Homosexual." L shrugged again. "It's all the same to me." He smirked at Light. "I do think that Light-kun is very attractive, however."

"Yes, I got that impression," Light replied frostily.

"So you'll forgive me if I act upon my attraction," L went on airily, leaning up towards Light again.

"No I won't," Light snapped; L stopped inches from him.

"Well," he considered, "I appear to be in your black books anyway. I don't think one more little "crime" will hurt at this point."

"You still might want to—"

L kissed him again; but now Light was ready for him, pushing him away again almost instantly.

"Stop doing that!" he spat.

"Stop doing what?"

"Interrupting me by kissing me like that!"

"Oh?" L smiled sweetly. "So it's alright to kiss you if I don't interrupt what you're saying?"

"That's… that's not what I meant!"

L was still smiling.

"Light-kun is even prettier when he's indignant."

"I… I don't even…!"

"So are we agreed?" L breathed, leaning right into him. "As long as I don't interrupt, I can kiss you?"

Light's eyes narrowed venomously.

"I'll see you tossed in jail yet, you conniving little thief," he hissed in reply. "Make no mistake about that."

"Are you done talking? Good." L lowered his mouth onto Light's, more gently this time, slower and more deliberate, as though he knew he could now take his time in doing so and was relishing the victory. Light didn't fight him this time, rather resigning himself to it – thought he stiffened defensively when L started to loosen his tie and pluck at the buttons of his shirt.

"What do you think you're doing?"! he demanded.

L gave only a sigh in response.

"Will you fight me all the way on this, Light-kun?" he asked jadedly. "At present I'm finding this more difficult than breaking into a Swiss bank."

"Don't you find that easy?"

"I suppose so, but in contrast to most other banks—"

"Okay, okay, I get it." Light's eyes narrowed. "The point is, what on earth makes you think you can just lure me to France so you can… so you can—?"

"If you knew I was _luring_ you, why did you come?"

"Because you were going to steal that crown!" Light snapped.

"But I had already stolen it."

"How was I meant to know?!"

"You should have foreseen it."

"I don't know how your twisted little mind works, do I?" Light spat defensively.

"Then perhaps," L suggested, going back to working on Light's tie, "you should get to know me a little better, hmm?"

"Maybe I don't want to," Light replied tersely, wrestling his tie from L's grip again.

"Are you afraid?" L asked softly, meeting his gaze.

"Of you?" Light asked snidely.

"Of knowing me better. We _are_ on different sides of the law, after all. Are you afraid of becoming acquainted with a mindset such as mine? Are you afraid that I might… _taint_ you, Light-kun?"

"I'm not afraid of you," Light hissed, shoving roughly at him. "I just don't want you pawing all over me. I know you follow a strict policy of just taking whatever you want, but I'm not playing that game with you, L. I don't give a damn how "pretty" you think I am – you can't have me. I'm not some crown or painting you can steal away from the world so that you can have it all to yourself."

L looked at him in silence for a long moment.

"I suppose you have a point," he replied flatly at length. "And I am certain that Light-kun would not appreciate me forcing myself upon him."

"No, I certainly wouldn't," Light responded icily.

L gave a meditative nod.

"That seems fair," he agreed morosely. "Though I had hoped that the romantic prospect of being in France might make you a little more receptive to my designs."

Light shot him a disgusted look.

"You hoped in vain, you sick little creep," he spat.

"It would appear that way." L gave a sigh and sat back, then got off the bed. "Well, I am sorry to have troubled you, detective. I hope your flight back to Japan is a pleasant one. _Au revoir_."

He gave Light an elegant sort of half-bow and left the hotel room; Light sank back onto his pillow, throwing an arm over his eyes. Goddamn that pesky little thief – what, did he really think a person was as easily stolen as a priceless vase? Did he really think Light was just going to lie there and take… well, it was _obvious_ what he wanted, so was he really so arrogant as to believe that Light would just throw himself at his feet if he said he was pretty enough times? It only made Light angrier still when he thought that he had travelled all the way to France to help stop the theft of a crown L had already stolen, just because the infatuated sneak-thief wanted into his pants, of all the freaking _nerve_—

Light gasped and sat bolt upright again, staring at the hotel room door in utter dismay and horror.

_He'd let L walk right out of the room._

He scrambled off the bed and almost ran to the door, wrenching it open and leaning out into the hallway.

It was deserted. _Now_ how was he going to find him? He d no idea of his room number, the name he'd booked into the hotel under…

Light gave a moan of frustration, leaning against the door in despair. He'd had L right within his grasp (as much as L would like to have believed that the situation was actually reversed), within handcuffing distance, and he'd been too distracted by rebuking his advances like a cheerleader batting away the football team quarterback with her pom-poms, too concerned with making sure his belt stayed buckled, to capture the world's greatest thief.

To achieve, in layman terms, exactly what he'd come to France to do.

Dimly he heard police sirens wailing in the distance, growing louder with every second; he ducked back into the room, closing the door, and went to the window. He winched it up and leaned out just as three French police cars pulled up outside the hotel entrance.

A grin crept back onto Light's face. Lady Luck was smiling upon him once more. L had obviously slipped up, been caught on security cameras or something whilst taking Light out of the museum, and the French police had tracked him to this hotel. Maybe they'd gotten his real name or other alias from an intelligence database and could find out which room he was in, which was more than Light himself could do at present. He leaned back into the room and shut the window again, catching his smirking reflection in it—

And watching that same smirk slide right off his face as, also in the window's reflection, he saw the _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ glimmering on the dresser.

Still exactly where L had left it.

Deliberately.

He couldn't face turning to look at it; instead only watching it gleam in the distorted reflection of the dark window, stomach sinking but body otherwise barely reacting when he heard the loud, demanding knock at his hotel room door.

L hadn't gotten his own way. He hadn't screwed Light Yagami.

But he'd certainly screwed him over.

* * *

So, yeah, like I said… probably one more chapter! Yayz! Oh dear, Light's in trouble now… The French police probably won't look so kindly upon his "generous intentions" now, even if he _is_ innocent.

Which he is. :)

I am sorry if you were expecting sex in this chapter and were thus disappointed. I had planned to put it in but I couldn't make it work – I felt it would seem really OOC for Light to just jump into bed with L, even at this stage. He doesn't like him much so there was really no justification for why he'd sleep with him.

L is just as disappointed as you guys.

We'll (hopefully) get there eventually, though! There _is_ a spark there – Light just hasn't realised it yet!

Thankyou for reading! Hope you liked the new instalment!

RR xXx

P.S: "Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou" doesn't mean anything – or, more precisely, it's very bad French and doesn't make any sense. So don't ask what it means, because I have _no_ clue.


	3. Stolen Away: III

Well, I am making this my last update of 2008. That's scary – where has the year gone? It doesn't seem like a full year since New Year's Eve 2007. O.o

Gyah, never mind. It's not like there's someplace you can go and demand your year back because you feel like you were ripped off…

_Stolen Away _is, I guess, one of my little successes of 2008. I didn't think it would be so popular! Thankyou all so much for reading! This is the final chapter of what has become a "mini-fic", so I hope you all are satisfied by it.

I got a few reviews asking why this said "Complete" when it wasn't finished. Eh, I kept meaning to do change it to "In Progress", but I forgot. :) Never mind, that is now an accurate description!

Happy New Year, everybody, and enjoy the final chapter of _Stolen Away_!

Stolen Away: III

He had never previously experienced this situation, but now that he had, Detective Light Yagami could thus very thoroughly conclude that it was difficult to get comfortable enough to sleep properly on the wooden bench of a Police Nationale overnight cell.

He'd been arrested immediately following the team of detectives he'd been guarding the fake _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ with breaking into his hotel room and finding the real _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ gleaming on his dresser; it was obvious to him that L had foreseen not getting his own way with Light, and so had set him up beforehand as premeditated revenge.

He had to hand it to the sneaky bastard – he got the full 10/10 for Effort.

…Which nonetheless didn't make Light like or respect him any better – he was currently at -10/10 in the Winning Personality stakes.

The French police surely couldn't hold him for very long, and they certainly couldn't convict him of theft. He'd told the truth, said that it had been L, told them all about the thief's switching of the real crown with the fake one he'd previously stolen. He'd been so annoyed that he'd completely thrown his secretive not-telling-anyone-about-the-fact-that-he'd-met-L out of the window and described him as accurately as he could so the police could go hunting for him. All in all, he was innocent of the theft, and even though L had set him up, he was certain that the French police would be forced to let him go.

Eventually.

The thought was his only consolation as he lay, suspended in an uncomfortable half-sleep, with his jacket folded up as a pillow, on the bench (which creaked loudly and moved more than slightly if he wriggled about too much).

So, needless to say, when L showed up, bordering on perhaps 3:30am, Light wasn't very pleased to see him.

"You know, I'm very excited," the thief said drolly, winding his slender arms around the bars. "This is the first time I've ever been inside a police station. What is it like to be in a cell, Light-kun? I thought I would ask you, since you seem to know quite a bit about it."

Light was up and over at the bars in moments – L swiftly stepped back out of his reach to avoid being strangled.

"You slimy, backstabbing little rat!" Light hissed venomously. "_You're_ the one who should be locked up in here, not me!"

L smiled sweetly at him.

"Be that as it may," he replied pleasantly, "I think it's unfair to call me "backstabbing". That implies that I'm too cowardly to stab you from the front. I think I should inform you that that's not true. Besides…" His smile twisted. "There is no pretence of us being on the same side, Light-kun. I think _you_ have made that perfectly clear."

"Well," Light said, ignoring him and sweetening his own tone, "if you really want to know what it's like to be locked up in here, why don't you go and get the keys and we can swap places. It can be like a game."

"Now why do I think that Light-kun wouldn't play fair at that game? Why do I think that Light-kun wouldn't let me out again once I had grown tired of the experience?"

"Because you _belong_ in here!" Light snapped, losing his temper.

L simply shot him a cute-but-insolent little smile and said nothing.

"They're going to catch you, you know," Light said finally.

"You sound awfully sure of yourself."

"For good reason." Now it was Light's turn to smirk. "I gave a very good description of you, they drew a composite sketch, and I'm sorry, but you're so freaky-looking that they're bound to find you very soon."

"Oh, yes." L fished into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled pencil drawing of which Light spoke; he glanced at it. "I have to admit, it's a pretty good likeness. You certainly must have given a _very_ accurate description indeed. Can it be that the brilliant Light Yagami has a photographic memory, or is it just that you think about me so often that I'm as clear in your mind as I am standing right before you?"

Light stared at him, speechless; watching him fold the drawing again non-too-carefully and jamming it back into the pocket of his jeans.

"Well?" the thief prompted, wide-eyed as he glanced back up at Light.

"Why are you constantly following me around, ruining my life?" Light finally asked, not answering his question. "What have I done that fascinates you so much that it captures almost all of your attention?"

"You're interesting," L replied airily. "You're clever, you're a very talented detective in addition to being very good at other things, you seem like a very nice person, and you're very attractive. All those qualities in one person are extremely rare – and you know how much I like rare treasures."

"That's silly." Light shook his head as he said it. "I don't know how I can make you understand this, but you can't base your opinion of me on… well, on a few brief meetings, I mean, it's just—"

"Isn't that what people do when they go on dates?"

"_We're not on a date!_"

"I know that. But isn't it the same thing?"

"E-even if it _is_," Light pressed impatiently, "you say someone like me is rare, so… so that's the only reason you chase me like this? That's so _shallow_."

"Light-kun, I'm a thief who steals shiny objects," L said dryly. "Of _course_ I'm shallow."

"But you _shouldn't_ be, at least not when it comes to other people. I'm not a crown or a gold ring or whatever. You should like me for who I am, not because of how I appear, but I don't see how you _can_ like me for who I am, because you don't _know_ me!"

"I know that I like you."

Light heaved a frustrated sigh and said nothing more, turning his back on L and leaning up against the bars.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better," L said at length, "I'm not going to steal the crown again. The whole situation has gotten a little tiresome now. I know where it is, and could easily take it if I wanted it, but I just think that after all this, I really don't want to look at it again."

"How noble of you."

L gave a snort.

"I thought you might have more to say about it than that," he said, sounding a little put out.

"What, you think I should be _proud_ of you, for deciding not to re-steal a priceless French crown, of which your previous theft landed me in here?" Light gave an icy little laugh. "Sorry, but I'm not your mother. It's not my job to encourage you even though you're such a screw-up."

"That's unkind, Light-kun."

"That's a bit rich coming from you, don't you think?" Light spat. "You're hardly the Epitome of Saintliness yourself."

"At least I don't pretend that I am."

Light bit his bottom lip to keep from lowering himself to L's level and firing back.

"Maybe I'll have something to say if you give up your life of crime altogether," he said primly.

"I don't see that happening, Light-kun."

"Me neither." Light heaved another sigh. "Now why don't you go away and leave me alone so I can try to get some sleep?"

"Actually, I came to let you out." L pulled the keys from his pocket with a cheerful jingle. "You're right, you don't belong in there. I did, after all, take the liberty of setting you up to take the fall. This is my repayment." He put the key into the lock and turned it – the bars swung open with a neat _click_. "Come on, Light-kun. I can easily get us out of here."

But Light simply shot him an icy look and walked away from the open door, over towards the bench again, where he sat down.

"I'm in enough trouble already, courtesy of you, and now you want me to escape from jail and become a _fugitive_?" he spat.

"Being a fugitive isn't _that_ bad, Light-kun."

"Forget it – there is no way in _Hell_ I'm coming with you." Light folded him arms. "I expect the French police will let me go in the morning, so until then, I'll just do the honest thing and wait here for them to realise that I'm innocent. Running away will just make it worse – then it really _will_ look like I was guilty."

"You're no fun," L sulked. "I thought you might at least accompany me back to Japan. It's such a long, boring trip to take by oneself."

"Not happening, L. Sorry."

"I could just steal you again."

"I'm sure you could," Light replied pleasantly.

"Well…" Seeing that the threat wasn't working, L floundered for a moment. "…I'll just leave the door open, in case you change your mind. It's always good to leave your options open."

Light got up, stormed over to the open cell door and slammed it shut in L's face.

"I am _not_ coming with you!" he spat furiously, gripping hold of the bars with white, shaking hands. "Get it through that thick skull of yours! I don't like you, I don't want to hang out with you, I don't want to be friends, acquaintances or even we-have-to-stop-meeting-like-this buddies with you! All I want is to have you thrown into some dank little cell for the rest of your life, and for me to have the key so that I can personally throw it into the Sea of Japan!"

L looked extremely hurt for a moment or two; then the smile came back to his face and he leaned towards Light.

"Ah, but you didn't say you didn't want to be lovers," he said brightly, and he kissed the young detective fleetingly on the mouth and then sauntered cheerily away, hearing only the echo of Light's angry, frustrated wail.

—

By morning Detective Light Yagami was a free man. The French police, having found the composite sketch missing, correctly presumed that L had been behind its disappearance, but having noted that Light was still locked in his cell, and more importantly, did not have the drawing on him, concluded that he could not have been behind both this theft and one significant other:

Every single jewel once set within the real _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_ had been removed very carefully, leaving no trace of them whatsoever.

Light, incidentally, was now even _less_ impressed by L's restraint in vowing that he would not steal the crown a second time.

* * *

Although he was very tired on arriving back in Japan, both jetlagged and aching all over from his night in that Police Nationale cell, Light was restless, severely irritated by L's shenanigans in France, and after freshening himself up at home, headed straight down to the NPA headquarters. He just needed some boring, easy work to do to get his mind off his pointless trip, unfair arrest and L.

In Japan, several hours ahead of France, it was already the afternoon of the day after he'd left Europe – L had even stolen an entire day from him, the bastard…

Pulling off his coat as he entered the office, Light tiredly greeted his colleagues, hoping to make straight for his desk; but was seized by Matsuda.

"So, France, huh?" he asked gleefully. "How was it? Anything kinky or scandalous to relate? Hook up with any gorgeous French women?"

"No," Light replied, unwinding Matsuda's arm from around his neck. "It was just work."

"You weren't gone very long," Light's father observed. "I thought perhaps you might not come back until the weekend."

Light shrugged.

"Dead lead."

"Pity." Soichiro Yagami stood up. "By the way, we had a transfer into the department yesterday."

Light blinked, halfway through settling down at his desk.

"Our department?"

"Yes. I admit I was surprised, it was the first I'd heard of it, but he came with a letter from the Commissioner, so there was nothing I could say about it." Soichiro thumbed absently at the door. "He's just gone with Aizawa down to the Forensics Department to pick up some data from the lab."

"Oh, okay." Light started to rummage in his drawer in search of his notebook; well, he should hardly complain about having another pair of hands on deck, especially with L still on the loose.

It was another ten or fifteen minutes later before Aizawa reappeared with the new fish in tow; Light glanced up absently as Matsuda ranted about how long it had taken them to pick up one little envelope.

He almost had a heart attack.

L was standing right beside Aizawa. L, cleaned up a little, in black suit trousers, a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a black tie – but his hair was still wild and his eyes still gleaming, with those sleepless shadows smudged beneath them.

Light stood up and slammed his hands down on his desk in absolute fury – but was too stunned to speak.

"Oh, Light, welcome back," Aizawa said cheerily; he gestured to L. "No doubt the chief told you about the newbie – this is Detective Ryuga Hideki."

"He has the same name as that pop star!" Matsuda chirped. "Isn't that _so_ cool?!"

But still Light said nothing, his voice jammed like a stuck record – only able to _stare_ at L in utter disbelief. How could anyone be _so arrogant_…?

"Hello, Light-kun," L greeted him pleasantly, giving him a friendly little wave.

"Hello," Light finally forced out, his voice faint; he had to sink back down into his chair.

Soichiro shook his head.

"Look at you, Light – you're a mess from all that travelling. You should have rested today and come in tomorrow."

Light could only nod, not really listening to his father – too transfixed by L, who gave him a knowing little smile before taking the envelope from Aizawa and giving it to Soichiro.

"If you want to know what took us so long," Aizawa said, "this is why." He held up a packaged box. "This arrived at the front desk this morning by post."

"For our department?" Matsuda asked curiously.

"No. It's for Light." Aizawa brought it over to Light's desk, setting it down gently. "It's been checked over by the scanners. They're not sure what it is, but it's not a bomb or gas or anything, so… I guess you'll just have to open it."

"Yes, Light, open it!" Matsuda cried excitedly, bounding over to the desk. "Maybe it's a clue to one of the cases we're trying to crack, or a gift from a secret admirer, or—"

"Well," Light interrupted; but he said nothing more, pulling the box towards him. Yes, there was his name, department and the Tokyo NPA branch's address – there was no sender's address, however.

He was extremely hesitant to open it.

"Perhaps Light-kun feels uncomfortable having us as spectators," L said mildly, "and would prefer to open it at home."

Light's eyes darted up towards him venomously; and that cinched it. L was hinting that he should open it at home.

So he was opening it right here, right now, in front of everyone.

Light tore the tape off the box and roughly opened the flaps, peering inside it; then made a sound of frustrated disgust and shoved it away from him, sending it sliding across the desk and off the edge of it. It hit the office floor and the contents scattered across the carpet.

The small, precious, brightly-coloured contents, which gleamed on the grey office floor as they each respectively rolled to a halt.

"Secret admirer?" Matsuda asked weakly, picking up one of the jewels and holding it up to the window to see the clear, deep blue better.

Light couldn't hold himself back any longer – he stood again, murderous gaze fixated on L.

"I can't believe you would—" he spluttered furiously. "I mean, it's one thing to _steal_ the thing, but then to…?! Are you _serious_?!"

"Whoa, hold up." Aizawa looked at Light to L and then back again. "You _know_ him, Light?"

"Of course I do!" Light spat. "He's _L_!"

The silence that ensued was punctuated only by Light's angry exhalation and the sound of Matsuda dropping the jewel again.

"_L_?" Soichiro asked finally, casting a disbelieving glance in the new detective's direction. "Light, how can you… I mean, you've never met—"

"You said you'd never met L," Aizawa interrupted sharply. "That you'd never even _seen_ him."

"I lied, okay?" Light snapped irritably, still glaring at L. "We've met before – how do you think I got the Earth's Eye back? And he was in France, and I—those jewels, they're from the French crown he was going to steal, well, he _stole_, and now he's sent them here, though I don't why, but… ugh, just ask _him_!"

He jabbed his finger repeatedly at L, who blinked innocently at him.

"But Light," his father said patiently, "he was transferred here yesterday, and all the paperwork was perfectly in order, and he has a license, and the number on it checks out—"

"It's all fake!" Light cried in frustration. "He has this helper, some kind of butler—"

"So, wait." Mogi, who had said nothing until this point, suddenly spoke up. "You're saying that you have actually met L even though you denied having done so, and that L… is standing right here – that L _is_, in fact, Detective Ryuga Hideki."

"Yes." Light nodded fervently. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

There was another long bout of silence, during which all eyes were turned upon L again.

L shrugged.

"Well," he said, after giving the impression of having carefully considered his answer, "they do say that everyone is known to have a double somewhere in the world that's completely unrelated to them—"

"Oh, don't be so ridiculous!" Light blazed.

L blinked at him.

"You really think that I am L, Light-kun? L, the greatest thief in the entire world?"

"I _know_ that you're L!" Light screeched. "How _dare_ you do this to me, showing up like some—"

"Alright, Light," Soichiro Yagami sighed, rubbing at his temples. "Please don't be offended by this, but you're not yourself at the moment. You're very tired, your body clock is disorientated, and I understand that you're very frustrated that your lead turned out to be a dead end, but I simply can't have you accusing members of your own department of such crimes with no proof whatsoever. Furthermore I think we can all agree that it is extremely unlikely that Detective Hideki is L, and it is probably the aforementioned factors which lend themselves to your confusion."

"…_What_?" Light blinked a few times, stunned – why wasn't L in handcuffs already? "No, dad… Listen, I _know_ it sounds crazy, but he _is_ L, I swear! You have to believe me—"

"Light, please go home and get some rest," Soichiro Yagami said tiredly, going back to his desk. "I'm not going to discuss the matter any further."

"But I—"

"Aizawa, Mogi – please box all those jewels back up and send them down to Forensics."

"Dad—"

"Light, _go home_."

For a long moment, Light didn't move; L presently appeared beside him.

"I'll accompany him, Yagami-san," he said, addressing Light's father. "To make sure he doesn't get on the wrong train or anything. Besides, we seem to have gotten off very much on the wrong foot – I'd like to meet your son properly, if we're going to be working together from now on."

Soichiro gave a nod.

"Alright, both of you get out of here."

L took Light – who had gone into some kind of state of shock – by his upper arm and led him out of the office while Matsuda complained loudly about how unfair it was that they got the rest of the day off while he had to rot here filing paperwork.

"I told you that you could never prove that I am L," L murmured wickedly in Light's ear as the office door swung shut behind them.

* * *

"What's the matter, Light-kun?" L asked from across the table. "Don't you like your cappuccino?"

Light didn't reply; still apparently in very deep shock. He was simply staring at the coils of steam rising from the pretty cup on its saucer before him.

They were in a café that L seemed to know very well, situated down a little street on the outskirts of the city of Tokyo; Light had offered no resistance to being dragged in here. L had asked him what cake he wanted – he had mumbled that he wasn't hungry. L had asked him what he wanted to drink – he had mumbled that he wasn't thirsty.

L had ordered him a cappuccino and a slice of caramel cheesecake anyway, saying that he was paying as compensation for giving him such a shock earlier. Light had taken only one small sip of his coffee so far, and hadn't complained when L, who had eaten his own slice of strawberry shortcake very quickly, at length spirited the untouched cheesecake away over to his side of the table.

Right now he was halfway through demolishing it, though paused to tilt his head at Light.

"Light-kun?" he asked again. "What's wrong? You're usually much more talkative than this."

Light shrugged in reply.

"Well, I'm concerned." L chewed thoughtfully on a mouthful of cake. "I hope I haven't upset you. Are you really that displeased to see me?"

Light glanced up him a little, his eyes narrowed.

"Are you getting that vibe?" he hissed.

"A little, yes."

Light dropped his gaze again.

"How did you do it?" he whispered.

"Do what?"

"Get transferred into our department?!"

"Oh, that." L smiled. "Well, you partially sussed it out. The online information, confirmation for my license number as being active and transfer papers are all fake, courtesy of Watari. However… the license isn't."

"You even stole a _police license_?" Light asked in disgust.

"No." L fished into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out his wallet and taking out a small white card, which he pushed across the table towards Light.

Light took it and held it up so that he could examine it.

"Rank of Detective Chief Superintendent… Scotland Yard…" Light blinked at the licence. "This is _yours_."

L nodded with a wry smile.

"I've also worked for MI5 in Britain and the FBI in the United States. Oh, and the Police Nationale, very briefly.

"Detective Chief Superintendent … That's a very high rank."

"It is."

"Why did you quit, then?"

"I didn't quit. I went Missing In Action." L grinned. "Isn't that _tragic_?"

"I don't understand."

L folded his hands and rested his chin on them.

"Quite simply, Light-kun, as I have told you before… I bore easily. And eventually, I got bored of being a detective. The criminals I was catching just weren't offering me any kind of challenge, and no-one I worked with had an ability to match my own. You might think that delighted me, but it didn't. It was lonely and in the end I stopped getting any pleasure out of my work. So I decided to switch sides – to show the criminals how it should be done, and to see if there was _anyone_, anywhere in the world, who was capable of catching me." He smiled happily and picked up his coffee, taking a sip. "But as you can see, I am still a free man."

"Yes, I can certainly see that," Light replied stiffly.

"Well, now you know why I'm so good at what I do," L said complacently. "A knowledge of how to get caught – and therefore how to _avoid_ getting caught – and a little sleight of hand combined… That's really all there is to 'L', you know."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Light asked bitterly, giving him license back. "Because you know – and just proved – that I can't out you as L?"

"Partly." L finished the last bite of his cheesecake. "But either way, it doesn't really matter anymore."

"Why do you say that?" Light asked suspiciously.

"Because, as of two days ago, I am officially retired."

"…As L?"

"That's right."

"You've completely given up stealing?"

"Yes."

Light clenched his fists.

"Oh, and you think that makes it alright, do you?" he spat. "You were one of the word's most wanted criminals, but now that you've renounced your wicked ways, it's okay for you to just… to just turn up here, get yourself transferred in _my_ police department, and start over again in the police, as though L never existed?!"

"I was hoping for it to go something like that, yes."

"You arrogant jerk!" Light snapped. "You can't just pretend that you haven't stolen all those things! _And_ you have no right to be chasing me about like this! It's called stalking, and it's a _crime_."

"Oh, Light-kun, I'm hardly stalking you. I have yet to break into your house while you're sleeping or steal your underwear from your washing line."

"Don't just laugh this off! I really hate this game you're playing with me, L!"

"Please don't call me 'L' anymore, Light-kun. You can just call me Ryuga now – or Ryuzaki, if you prefer." L looked at him blandly. "And by the way, the other night, when you said that you would "maybe have something to say" if I completely gave up my life of crime… I have to admit that _this_ wasn't exactly what I had expected. You throwing such a hissy fit, I mean."

Light grabbed his cappuccino, threw it in L's face, snatched up his jacket and stormed out of the café.

L, who had barely blinked, wiped some of his wet hair out of his eyes and watched Light go; then gave an amused little sigh.

So the chase was on yet again.

* * *

Light decided that he would have a shower to cool off – he was still fuming about L the Renounced Sinner and the blasé fashion in which he supposed he could simply cast off his Thieving Scum persona, and more annoyed still by the absolute nerve of him, turning up like that in Light's own NPA department, whipping out his old Metropolitan Police license when he saw fit to. The way L saw and used the law as nothing more than a line step back and forth over for only his own amusement made Light feel slightly sick.

He had a nice long, hot shower, which soothed his aching muscles and cleared his head, pulled on some comfortable clothes, towel-dried his hair, and went into his bedroom.

L was sprawled on his bed, leafing through one of his books with great interest.

Light dropped the towel he had been using to dry his hair without realising it, staring at L in appalled shock.

"…How the _fuck_ did you get in here?" he forced out eventually.

L glanced up at him.

"Oh, hello, Light-kun. I hoped you wouldn't be long. This is very nice room you have here."

"_How did you get in_?!" Light shrieked, near-hysterical.

L thumbed at the window.

"I suppose you'd call it Breaking and Entering," he mused. "Although I was very, very careful. I didn't scratch your windowsill or anything."

"Get out." Light pointed at the bedroom door to accentuate his point. "I didn't invite you in here, you bastard."

"Well, I'm not a vampire, Light-kun – I can enter places that I'm not invited into. How else would I have been such a successful thief?" L blinked. "Oh, but don't worry. I haven't stolen anything from your room. I was just looking at this book while waiting for you to come out of the shower." He held it up – it was a small paperback print of _The Tale of Genji_ by Lady Murasaki. "How lovely it is to soak up a little of Japan's rich history and culture."

"I told you to get out!" Light yelled, storming over to the bed. "Stop following me around! I'm _not_ your friend!"

L put the book down and knelt up – he'd obviously gone home and changed out of his cappuccino-stained clothes before coming here, for he'd traded his shirt-and-tie combo for the plain white top and faded blue jeans he'd been wearing when Light had first met him. His hair and face were also expensive Italian coffee-free too.

"Light-kun, I appreciate that I annoy you quite a bit," he said patiently, "but to be perfectly honest, you have not even _tried_ to be friends with me."

"Why the hell would I do that?!" Light snapped. "You're a criminal!"

"Not anymore."

"The fact that you've "given up" stealing doesn't mean that you're exempt from all your previous crimes!" Light exploded.

"Oh, Light-kun," L sighed wearily, "don't you get tired of being so angry and uptight all the time? Being so straight-laced must take quite a bit out of you."

"That's none of your business – and it doesn't change anything that you've done! I could be the most laid-back person in the entire world, not give a damn about anything at all, but _you_ would _still_ be a thief."

"…Well, I suppose I can't argue with that."

"Good." Light pointed at the door again. "Now will you please _leave_."

L gave a forlorn sigh.

"You really _don't_ like me, do you?"

"No, I don't. I hate your guts. Now get out."

L lay down again, flopping on to his side.

"No," he said simply.

Light gave a frustrated moan, clutching at handfuls of his hair.

"_Why_ are you doing this to me?" he asked wearily. "Why won't you just leave me alone, L?"

"Because I like you very much, Light-kun."

"You have a very strange way of showing it," Light muttered blackly, sinking down onto the bed himself and burying his face in his hands.

"How else do you suppose that a thief earns the affections of a detective?" L gave a haughty sigh. "I even gave up being L for you, since you seem to have such a problem with my stealing things – but even _that_ isn't good enough. I was a thief for a long time before I even knew you existed, so what other way did I have of approaching you? There is no other circumstance under which we would ever meet, if not for the battlefield that you like to call Justice."

"You didn't give up being L for me," Light said icily. "You gave up because you were bored of it. No-one had ever caught you, or even come close."

"I don't think that's true," L said, making Light look up at him. "I think that _you_ could have caught me, or at least come close to it – and even without my revealing myself to you as L."

"Flattery doesn't work on me."

"I don't flatter – I only tell the truth." L smirked. "Except for when I'm lying."

"That's logical."

"Well…" L shifted closer to Light. "As you know, I don't ask for things that I want. Ever. When I see something I want, I just take it. That's what being a thief is all about. And I have to tell you something, Light-kun – I've never wanted _anything_ that I've ever seen as much as I want you. You're worth far more than any of those pointless vases or gaudy sceptres – you're rarer than any of those things, because you're my equal, and more to the point, you're the only one I've ever come across."

"That doesn't mean you can – or _should_ – possess me," Light replied coldly.

"I know." L gave a shrug. "Not that that matters anymore. I gave up being a thief, remember?"

"Oh, of course."

"So it follows that I have thus given up taking the things I want without asking."

"…And what do you want?" Light asked warily.

"I want you to be my friend."

"I can't be friends with you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't _like_ you."

L only smiled.

"I'm sure I'll grow on you. After all, we're going to be working together from now on."

"Don't remind me…" Light heaved a sigh and fell back onto the bed himself, closing his amber eyes. He felt L lean over him but kept his eyes shut, steadfastly pretending not to notice.

"Light-kun, can I ask you for something else?"

"Depends what it is."

"Well, to tell you that, I would have to ask the question. But you would still be within your rights to refuse, of course." L sighed wistfully. "That's the difference between asking for something and just taking it – I'm in constant danger of not getting what I want."

"Welcome to Planet Earth, you idiot."

"How kind. Well, what I wanted to ask was… if I would be allowed to kiss you?"

Light gave a snort.

"If you say please, I might consider it," he said dryly.

"You're enjoying this."

"Of course. Only the other night you were practically molesting me, and now you're humbling yourself by asking for my permission?"

"Very well then. _Please_ might I be allowed to kiss you, Light-kun?" L rattled off dutifully.

Light opened one eye to glance up at L.

"You do realise that _friends_ don't kiss each other, right?"

L smirked deviously again.

"Perhaps I may have gotten my wording a little mixed up…"

"Now why don't I believe that…?" Light gave a sigh and let his eye slide closed again. "Alright, but just a _little_ kiss."

L was still smirking as he leaned in towards him; Light pushed himself up on his elbows to meet him, touching their mouths together. It _was_ a little kiss – sweet, almost tentative, just the pressure of their lips and nothing else. It was ironic that L was now far less invasive and aggressive now that he had Light's permission.

"Was that acceptable, Light-kun?" L asked, pulling back from him a little.

"Yeah, that was okay."

L smiled.

"Good." He knelt up a little more and brushed away Light's fringe so that he could kiss his forehead. "You're right, really," he breathed. "You can never truly own someone else – even if you posses their body, you don't necessarily possess their mind. I could chain myself to you, so that you could never escape me, but I still wouldn't own you. And that… drives me mad. I know I must seem like a spoiled brat, always wanting something, never satisfied with what I have… But no matter their monetary or historical value, material possessions are, in truth, worthless. So my wanting of you is in a completely different league, Light-kun – you are worth more than everything I have ever stolen put together, and yet you are the one thing that can never be mine. That's another part of the reason why I have decided to give up being L: Because I have been defeated. I have found something that I desperately want and yet cannot steal."

Light gazed up at him for a long moment. He had a terrible feeling that L was simply talking sweet to manipulate him, but despite his suspicion, he was falling for it, hook, line and sinker.

"You came into my department because you want to be with me?" he asked softly.

"Why else? I've since realised that stealing you away won't make you mine – it's not as easy as breaking into a bank or a museum."

"…So you have another idea?"

L grinned.

"Just one."

He leaned down towards Light again, kissing him a little more passionately this time; Light hesitated for a moment, then reached up and wrapped his arms around L's slender chest to hold him closer.

For all his talk of being defeated, it was clear to Light that L had won, and that they both knew it – and that L was savouring his victory very much, kissing down Light's throat carefully, nipping at the jugular to make him give an odd, high little sound and turn his head aside.

L unbuttoned Light's shirt very meticulously, loosening each button with that dainty touch of his, and kissed down his chest and over his belly; Light's own hands flailed slightly, since he wasn't sure quite what he should do with them, or where he should put them. He didn't know if L wanted him to touch him in return, or if he simply wanted him to lie there and be the recipient of his affections. In the end, L raised his head, took up Light's right hand and kissed it – wrist, heel, palm, every fingertip, very gently, and if it was mock-affection, then L was a better actor than even Light had supposed.

The same could be said about it all, really – after chasing him so tirelessly, impressing his designs upon him so insistently, even lecherously, Light was surprised by how gentle L was with him now that he was willingly within his grasp. He was as careful with him as he was with any of those priceless paintings and artefacts, perhaps even more so, and seemed to admire him more, too. Light had seen L praise the beauty of both the Earth's Eye and the _Crown Le St. Aubert Bijou_, and yet despite his words, his admiration had seemed to Light to be rather blasé, almost detached, as though he felt himself _obliged_ to admire them because he had gone to the trouble of stealing them.

But there was nothing blasé or fake about his admiration of Light Yagami. He said that he was beautiful when he undressed him, and whether or not it was true, and although Light had heard him say it several times before, for the first time, he found himself believing him.

Did L treat any of the priceless artefacts he stole with this much care? He traced his fingers over Light's skin as though he was almost afraid of marking or breaking him, swept his hair back from his eyes very gently, and although his contact with the younger man beneath him was far from chaste, it was still altogether very cautious and methodical. Light wasn't really sure if he should be flattered or offended by this paranoia of leaving a single scratch upon him.

Then again, maybe he shouldn't have been surprised. He wasn't exactly certain if he'd really been expecting L to be rough with him once he got his own way, but considering the strange, delicate way that he held things, and the way in which he himself was of such slight form, perhaps it wasn't altogether too bizarre to suppose that L behaved this way with all of his sexual partners.

If he'd ever had one before.

(Or maybe it was simply a peculiar personification of the way in which L saw Light as something far more precious than a priceless skull-sized diamond.)

Light was beneath, sprawled on his back; his knees resting at L's hips, his lower legs tangled around the older man's waist, and with his arms around his neck and shoulders, clutching tightly at him. Neither of them said anything – Light cried and gasped and moaned, all very quietly, and L made no noise at all, probably the way he did while in the act of stealing something; seemingly preferring to listen to Light and all the pretty little sounds that he made.

Light barely opened his eyes; they fluttered open, tiredly, contentedly at half-mast, in the aftermath of his orgasm, and he saw that L hadn't taken his own gaze off him the entire time, and again he wasn't sure whether he should be pleased or unnerved.

But the expression in L's black eyes was neither smug, greedy nor discontented; it was wistful, even a little sad. He held Light's gaze for a long moment, then nuzzled against his throat. He didn't make a sound when he hit his peak – Light wished that he would whisper his name, but if he did, it was to himself, within the confines of his own mind, so that it could not be stolen away from him, the way he heartlessly stole from everybody else.

—

Light awoke alone. He wasn't surprised, but a little ticked all the same that L had scarpered the moment he'd gotten what he wanted out of him.

But, still, he supposed that he _couldn't_ be surprised. That was what thieves _did_, wasn't it? Took what they wanted and then legged it?

He pulled the covers over his head and snuggled down into the warm darkness – his brain still wasn't functioning properly and he was perfectly happy to let it stay that way for now, so that he didn't have to think about—

"Light-kun?"

He heard L's voice and peeked out from beneath the sheets again; the older man, looking even more dishevelled than usual, was dressed and standing over him, holding two cups of steaming coffee.

"I thought you gave up stealing?" Light said grouchily, surfacing and lying back against the headboard.

L blinked.

"I did. What do you mean? I haven't stolen anything from you, Light-kun."

"Isn't that _my_ coffee?"

L shot him a scathing look.

"Fine, I'll just go and tip it down the sink," he replied acidly, turning away.

"No, no, I want it!" Light made a grab for one of the cups.

L snorted and gave him one, sinking onto the edge of the bed with his own.

"_Really_," he sighed. "And I was trying to be hospitable, making you some coffee—"

"_Hospitable_? This is _my_ house!"

"And it's just lovely." L beamed at him over his coffee.

"I'm surprised you're still here," Light muttered, sipping at the hot bitter liquid.

"Hm? You thought I'd just run out on you after I got what I wanted?"

"…Yes."

"I _do_ seem like that kind of person, don't I?" L mused in agreement. "But on the contrary, you can see that I am in fact still here."

"Yes, I can see that very well."

"You act as though you're annoyed that I stuck around."

Light opened his mouth, realised that he had no answer, so clammed up again and drank his coffee very attentively.

"Well, you needn't worry," L said. "I'm not going to hold this as a victory over you – even though it _is_ that. I hope you don't think any less of me for it. After all, I _do_ like you very much, Light-kun. I hope we can still be friends."

Light gave an incredulous little snort.

"Friends, huh?"

L's mouth twitched into a smile.

"Perhaps I got my wording a little mixed up…"

Light raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed."

"Your hair is a spectacular mess, Light-kun."

"Of _course_ it is, genius," Light muttered scathingly.

"Well, don't worry." L reached into his pocket and pulled out a black comb. "Here."

Light didn't reply; simply glanced at him with hooded eyes.

"What?" L asked finally, looking at the comb, as though he thought there was something stuck to it.

Light just sighed.

"L… That's _my_ comb."

* * *

_Three weeks later_

Light was the first to awaken that morning, which made a change. He sat up and looked down at L, who was peacefully asleep on his side, turned away from Light, his raven hair stark against the pillow and his thumbnail pressed against his bottom lip.

Light smiled and brushed some of L's hair away from his pale cheek, taking care not to wake him. Then he reached for the remote at the bedside and flipped on the small TV that sat on the chest of drawers, turning down the sound and hopping channels until he came to the news station.

Something about a postal strike. Light stifled a yawn, feeling L turn over and nuzzle up to him; he laid a hand on the older man's bare shoulder, stroking him affectionately.

The news story changed. The anchor shuffled her papers and behind her, on a small screen, appeared something on a white background. Two things. Two black, gothic, English alphabet-shaped things.

M and N, respectively.

Light turned up the sound to catch what the anchor was saying:

"—And in worldwide news, while there have been no reported or documented thefts by what many experts call the "super-thief", L, for almost a month, it now seems that L has either specially-trained successors or copycats, calling themselves 'M' and 'N', the two letters in the European alphabet which come after 'L'. Last night saw the duo strike in Russia, sending a typical L-style message to Moscow authorities before stealing the newly-displayed Royal Tsarina Sceptre—"

"Ouch!" L cried, sitting bolt upright and dislodging Light's nails from his shoulder with some difficultly. "Light-kun, there was really no need to awaken me like that. Look at my shoulder." He gestured to the skin, where Light had left several angry red half-moons welted into his pale skin.

"What do you know about this?" Light snapped in reply, completely ignoring his complaints in favour of gesturing wildly towards the TV, on which a correspondent in Moscow itself was filling in a few more of the details of the theft.

L tilted his head, studying the screen for a long moment. Then he smiled.

"Well, I have to say I'm surprised," he said, arching an eyebrow.

"Surprised at what?!" Light demanded. "You _do_ know something about this, don't you? M and N?"

"Of course. It's Mello and Near."

"Mello and…?"

L nodded even as Light trailed off.

"There are my heirs – successors, I suppose. Watari took the liberty of training them up to follow me, should I be caught, or… Well, I have to admit that I'm surprised they've become active already, but—"

"_You trained up master thieves_?!"

"Not me. Watari."

"As if that makes a difference!" Light seethed. "You were in on it! "M and N" certainly aren't news to _you_!"

"Well, I can't deny that…"

"Oh, I don't _believe_ this," Light groaned, putting his hands over his eyes.

"Cheer up, Light-kun. This will make things more interesting for us."

"Get fucked, L," Light muttered, sinking back onto the mattress.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Light-kun – surely, after last night, you—"

"Oh, get out!" Light snapped; he pulled his pillow over his face to sulk.

"Very well," L replied complacently. He got up and Light heard him pull his clothes back on, before he picked up the sounding of something rustling. "I'm going to go and have a shower," L went on, leaning over and placing something made of paper on Light's chest. "I'll just leave this here for you."

He padded away to the bathroom; Light waited until he heard the gush of water start up before he lifted the pillow from his head and picked up what L had left for him to have a look at it. It was an envelope inside a folded newspaper cutting; putting the envelope aside, Light carefully smoothed out the cutting so that he could read it.

He found that he couldn't – it was from either a German or Dutch newspaper, he couldn't quite tell. In the centre of the piece, however, was a colour photograph of an ornate box, made from what looked like platinum, and encrusted with gleaming jewels. Finding this strange, he put the cutting aside and picked up the envelope, shaking out the contents. Two plane tickets fell out onto the sheets – Light snatched one up to examine it, determining by this that the newspaper clipping was German:

The ticket was for a flight leaving that afternoon from Tokyo International Airport, its destination being Munich, Germany.

Light tucked the tickets carefully back into their envelope and went to bang on the bathroom door. At length L shut off the shower and opened the door, leaning out in just a towel.

"Yes, Light-kun?" he asked politely, pushing his wet hair from his eyes.

"What game are you playing here, L?" Light spat. "Munich? M and N, are they going to…? I mean, how do you know?"

L smirked.

"Just call it a hunch."

"Or prior knowledge."

"You may call it that, if you choose."

"L, I don't like this game any more than I did when _you_ were the one I was chasing."

"I know that. But still, Light-kun, I think this will be a nice little change of pace. It makes things more interesting, don't you agree?"

Light folded his arms crossly.

"And what if I _refuse_ to accompany you to Germany?" he asked coolly. "What _then_, Almighty L?"

L grinned at him.

"Then, Light-kun," he replied airily, "I just steal you away again."

He stuck out his tongue at the indignant young detective.

"So there."

END

* * *

To be perfectly honest, I could very easily turn this into a very long multi-chaptered storyline simply by taking Light and L to France and having them face off against Mello and Near, who knows, maybe even bring people like Misa, Mikami and B into it, yadda yadda…

BUT I'm going to leave it here. This was never intended to be a long story – only a one-shot, originally, so…

Yeah. As far as the LxLight dynamic goes, L got Light into bed in the end, so essentially that's all the loose ends wrapped up nicely. You know, apart from the fact that Mello and Near are running riot in Munich. O.o Oh well, at least they're not trying to kill each other. Watari should be damned proud…

Thankyou all for reading! I hope this satisfied you as much as possible!

As for Light-o, as long as he knows where his wallet is at all times, I'm sure he and L will be just fine. :)

See y'allz in 2009!

RR xXx


End file.
